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	<title>Mom-ME! Fitness Club &#187; Featured Articles</title>
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		<title>Breastfeeding for a Lifetime of Good Health</title>
		<link>http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/breastfeeding-for-a-lifetime-of-good-health-174/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/breastfeeding-for-a-lifetime-of-good-health-174/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2009 03:53:01 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[by Angel J. Miller, MSN, CNM
Breastfeeding is the natural way to feed your baby and also benefits your health, but the decision to breastfeed is up to you. This information below explains the benefits of breastfeeding so you can make an informed decision about how to feed your baby. 
Breast milk: the best food for [...]


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">by Angel J. Miller, MSN, CNM</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">B</span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">reastfeeding is the natural way to feed your baby and also benefits your health, but the decision to breastfeed is up to you. This information below explains the benefits of breastfeeding so you can make an informed decision about how to feed your baby. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="subhead1"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;;">Breast milk: the best food for your baby!</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breast milk provides all the nutrition your baby needs </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">– it contains the right amount of nutrients for your baby to grow. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breast milk is <em>always</em> available </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">– as soon as your baby is born, a hormone is released by your body, signaling the breasts to produce milk. The more your baby feeds, the more milk your breasts produce. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breast milk is convenient </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">– it is always at the right temperature and does not require measuring or special preparation. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breast milk is economical</span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"> — breast milk is natural and free! Plus, you don’t need to buy formula, extra bottles or other feeding supplies for your baby.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breastfeeding is safe for the environment — </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">breast milk does not require packaging and doesn’t waste paper, glass, tin, plastic, rubber or silicon. The production of breast milk does not require the use of environmental resources.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breastfeeding provides comfort to your baby</span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"> — by holding your baby close to your skin, you provide warmth to your baby, as well as create a bond between you and your baby that no one else can replace. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breastfeeding helps your baby’s brain develop — </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">studies show that children who are breastfed have higher IQs (by an average of 7 points) than those who are fed breast milk substitutes.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breastfeeding helps your baby grow into a healthy adult — </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">studies cited by the </span><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">American</span><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"> </span><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Academy</span><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"> of Pediatrics show that people who were breastfed have fewer health problems such as diabetes, asthma, ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease, allergies, skin problems, and lymphoma, as well as a reduced risk of heart attack and stroke. </span></span></p>
<p><span class="subhead1"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></strong></span><span class="subhead1"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;;"><span style="font-size: small;">Breastfeeding produces healthy babies </span></span></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Babies who are breastfed for <em>at least</em> six months* have fewer health problems than babies who are fed breast milk substitutes. Breastfed babies have: </span></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Less diarrhea, constipation and stomach problems because breast milk is easy for babies to digest </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Less allergies; less ear, urinary tract and respiratory infections; and fewer serious illnesses such as bacterial meningitis and botulism because breast milk contains the mother’s antibodies which protect the baby </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Less tooth decay </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Good oral development from sucking at the breast </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">A decreased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) </span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">*<em>It is currently recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as desired by you and your baby.</em></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="subhead1"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;;">Breastfeeding is healthy for moms</span></strong></span><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"> </span></span></p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding causes uterine contractions right after birth, leading to less bleeding </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding helps your uterus shrink to its normal size and burns extra calories, helping you get in shape faster </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Reduces your risk of ovarian and premenopausal breast cancer </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">Reduces your risk of developing osteoporosis </span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="subhead1"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;;">Common concerns about breastfeeding</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">1. Are my breasts too small to breastfeed? </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breast size does not affect your ability to breastfeed. The amount of milk your breasts produce will depend on how much your baby eats, not how big your breasts are.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">2. Will breastfeeding hurt? </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breastfeeding should not hurt if your baby is latched onto your breast correctly. Your health care provider can help you learn how to position your baby when you breastfeed for the first time. Your breasts may be tender the first few days, but this discomfort should go away as you continue to breastfeed.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">3. Is breastfeeding hard to do? </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Breastfeeding is a learned skill and takes practice, but the health benefits you are gaining for you and your baby are worth it. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Help with breastfeeding is available. There are many resources for you to learn about breastfeeding, including a Breastfeeding Basics class that you can attend during pregnancy. Nurses and lactation consultants are also available to provide information and support. Talking to other breastfeeding moms may be helpful and make you feel more comfortable. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">4. I am shy and think breastfeeding may embarrass me. </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">You can choose to feed your baby in private. Or, you can breastfeed in front of others without them seeing anything. You can wear shirts that pull up from the bottom, just enough for your baby to reach your breast. You can put a blanket over your shoulder or around your baby so no one can see your breast. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">5. Do I have to drink milk if I choose to breastfeed? </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">No, you do not have to drink milk to produce breast milk. Other sources of calcium-rich foods include leafy green vegetables, broccoli or dried beans or peas. Eat 4 servings of calcium-rich foods every day to provide proper nutrition for you and your baby. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">6. What if I need to go out? </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">If you can take your baby with you, your baby can eat when he or she is hungry. If you need to be away from your baby, you can learn to pump or express your milk and store it so someone else can feed your baby.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">7. How can I breastfeed when I go back to work?</span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"> When you return to work, you can learn to pump or express your milk and store it so someone else can feed <em>your</em> milk to your baby while you’re at work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">8. I’m worried that breastfeeding will take too much time. </span></strong><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;">Feeding your baby takes time, no matter which method you choose.</span></span></p>
<p><strong><em><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Your choice to breastfeed is a personal one. We hope this information explained some of the benefits of breastfeeding for you and your baby. Please feel free to discuss your concerns with your health care provider or a lactation specialist.</span></span></em></strong></p>
<p><strong><em><span style="font-family: &quot;Lucida Sans&quot;; color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Article provided by <a href="http://acsstransitions.com/main/">ACSS Transitions</a><br />
</span></span></em></strong></p>


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		<title>Workout with Elk Grove moms</title>
		<link>http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/elkgrovemoms-144/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:02:51 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Workout with Elk Grove moms
Mom workout group offers friendship, fitness
By Katie Freeman &#8211; Lifestyle &#38; Arts Reporter, Elk Grove Citizen
Published:  Tuesday, March 31, 2009 5:05 PM PDT
Losing baby weight and socializing are two reasons Maria Kang gives as to why someone should join her Mom-Me fitness group.
The group is four weeks old, about the [...]


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="color: #1e71b8;">Workout with Elk Grove moms</h1>
<h4>Mom workout group offers friendship, fitness</h4>
<h5>By Katie Freeman &#8211; Lifestyle &amp; Arts Reporter, <a href="http://www.egcitizen.com/articles/2009/03/31/lifestyle/doc49d2ad2ae4b4d018654972.txt" target="_blank">Elk Grove Citizen</a></h5>
<div class="timestamp" style="margin: 0px 0px 15px;">Published:  <span class="timestamp">Tuesday, March 31, 2009 5:05 PM PDT</span></div>
<p><!--[include_if_component:movie-file:1:incs/story/movie.inc]-->Losing baby weight and socializing are two reasons Maria Kang gives as to why someone should join her Mom-Me fitness group.</p>
<p>The group is four weeks old, about the same age as some of the members’ babies. Their young babies don’t stop them from jumping back on the fitness wagon.</p>
<p>“I think it’s good to exercise right after having a baby and get back into it,” said Suzanne Kennedy, who brought her 4-week-old daughter and 3-year-old son.</p>
<p>The group meets every Tuesday at Kunsting Family Park and Thursday at Kloss Park from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. in Elk Grove.</p>
<p>Thursday, March 26, marked the second workout for Kennedy.</p>
<p>Her son played on the playground, while the moms pushed their strollers around the concrete path surrounding the jungle gym.</p>
<p>The women jogged with their strollers for about 15 minutes before they did circuit training, abs and stretching– totaling a 40 minute workout.</p>
<p>Kang said they burn anywhere from 300 to 600 calories during the high-intensity regimen.</p>
<p>Occasionally, a baby would whimper, the mom would stop to calm the baby and then proceed with the workout. For the most part, the babies just slept or stared intently at whatever was in front of them.</p>
<p>“She’s four weeks old, so she sleeps most of the time,” Kennedy said about her baby.</p>
<p>There is no sign-up sheet or fee required to join.</p>
<p>“Just show-up,” said Ana Sneed, who has been friends with Kang since high school.</p>
<p>The two women were pregnant at the same time– their due dates were four days apart.</p>
<p>When Kang was pregnant, she had an idea about starting a mother’s fitness group and Sneed volunteered to help.</p>
<p>They posted signs around Elk Grove to promote Mom-Me.</p>
<p>For the first Mom-Me workout, no one came. Fortunately, the next one was more successful.</p>
<p>Now the group consists of five to six mothers and their babies.</p>
<p>Although the group is small, lately she’s been receiving more inquires from women interested in attending.</p>
<p>Kang just launched a Web site for mothers who can’t attend the meet-up, but want workout advice, she said.</p>
<p>Kang’s career in fitness began while in college. She worked as a trainer for 24 Hour Fitness. Then she worked in San Ramon for the 24 Hour Fitness corporate office.</p>
<p>She said her leader-type personality will help her and other mothers get into pre-baby shape.</p>
<p>“It’s kind of an accountability thing,” she said. “If I’m responsible for leading other people, then I’m responsible for getting fit too.”</p>
<p>The women execute push-ups, jumping jacks, squats and other calisthenics under the shade of a gazebo.</p>
<p>Kang shouts directions and corrects any improper form, but is so perky, her directions come across as helpful advice.</p>
<p>“We are all at our own level and no one is breathing down our necks, everyone is really supportive,” Sneed said.</p>
<p>After the calisthenics, they do abdominal work lying on the padded ground surrounding the jungle gym.</p>
<p>One of the reasons Kang said she started the group was because she wanted to meet other moms and lose the pregnancy weight.</p>
<p>“I wanted to be fit right after pregnancy,” she said.</p>
<p>Besides living in Elk Grove and having a baby, the women in the Mom-Me group share the desire to be fit moms.</p>
<p>“They want to lose the baby fat- the baby fat from the baby,” she said.</p>
<p>The social aspect of the group is appealing for new moms too.</p>
<p>“Right after you have a child you can feel really alienated,” Sneed said. “So it’s great to meet moms and not just go to the gym by yourself.”</p>
<p>Sneed said she likes Mom-Me more than the gym because it’s a support system.</p>
<p>“It’s great for me because on Tuesdays and Thursdays I know that I have to get up and come here because people are expecting me,” she said.</p>
<p>Everyone in the group has their own motivation.</p>
<p>Joy Isaacson joined the group Tuesday, March 17.</p>
<p>She hopes her baby, five-week-old Sierra, will make friends with other babies, she said.</p>
<p>Isaacson also wants to lose the 40 pounds she gained during pregnancy.</p>
<p>The group will help motivate her to work out, but to reach her goal weight, she’ll need to workout more often, Isaacson said.</p>
<p>“But at least this is motivating,” she said.</p>
<p>Some of the women will go back to work soon, so they want to memorize the exercises.</p>
<p>“I think Maria’s goal is to teach us all the exercises so we don’t depend on her,” Sneed said. “Then we can meet on our own and do it.”</p>
<p>After the abdominal portion of the workout, Kang handed out Nutri-Grain bars.</p>
<p>First 5 California gives money to the group so that everyone can have bottled water and a snack at the end of each workout.</p>
<p>The moms sat while they stretched, chatted and took their babies out of the strollers to meet other babies.</p>
<p>Kang held Sneed’s baby, William, in her lap.</p>
<p>“In the summertime when it’s a little bit warmer, I want to use the babies as weights,” Kang said as she lifted up William.</p>
<p>“I want the kids to be involved in the fitness aspect, so they can grow up with a really healthy mindset,” she said.</p>
<p>The women also want to add another regular workout meet-up on Saturday at 9 a.m., so their husbands can attend too.</p>
<p>“So they know the pain we go through,” Kang said with a laugh.</p>
<p>For more information about Mom-Me fitness club, please visit <a href="../">http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/</a>.</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">UPDATE:</span></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;">On Tuesdays we meet at10am at Kloss Park</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;">and on Thursdays we meet at10am at Kunsting Family Park on 10069 Wild Orchid Way (right off of Whitelock)</span></p>


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		<title>Post-prego fitness</title>
		<link>http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/mariakan-26/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Mar 2009 08:56:19 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[I officially became a mother on January 8, 2009. My son Christian was born a healthy 7lbs and 14oz with a full head of hair! Throughout my pregnancy I monitored my food intake in a journal, I performed light-resistant workouts 3-4 times a week and I supplemented daily with prenatal vitamins and protein shakes.  As a result, I gained a healthy 35lbs and didn’t experience water retention or excessive stretch marks.

Two weeks post-labor I lost 20lbs. Four weeks later I lost an additional 10lbs. 


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">by Maria Kang.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">I officially became a mother on January 8, 2009. <a href="http://journal.mariakang.com/2009/01/15/chrisitans-birthday-story.aspx" target="_blank">My son Christian was born</a> a healthy 7lbs and 14oz with a full head of hair! Throughout my pregnancy I monitored my food intake in a journal, I performed light-resistant workouts 3-4 times a week and I supplemented daily with prenatal vitamins and protein shakes.<span> </span>As a result, I gained a healthy 35lbs and didn’t experience water retention or excessive stretch marks.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">Two weeks post-labor I lost 20lbs. Four weeks later I lost an additional 10lbs. Now, I’m working on those last five pounds to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. <span> </span>My belly has flattened, my hips are tightening and my body confidence is rising again.<span> </span>While it feels empowering to regain a body that was not ‘mine’ for ten months, getting my physique back still comes with varying emotions of frustration, dissatisfaction and fatigue.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">Since my son’s birth, I haven’t been able to sleep through one night without him crying in need of food or a diaper change. My entire schedule revolves around his feedings and what I call his ‘fussy moments’. In addition to the baby, I have laundry, meals, dishes, articles, work and working out to complete on a daily basis. Life has definitely changed, however, with these changes comes a stronger need to focus on my physical goals even though time is often scarce.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">For many mothers, exercising can be seen as a ‘selfish act’, a time they could be spending finishing chores or spending with their children. However, I’ve always viewed exercise as an essential daily act, for in order to be strong mentally, physically and spiritually for everyone around you, you must strengthen and maintain the temple your soul exists inside: your body.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">I workout every morning around 6am after I nurse Christian. <span> </span>During my 1.5 hour session I perform approximately 45 minutes of weight training and anywhere between 30-45 minutes of cardio. It’s a dedicated act that requires a lot of personal motivation.<span> </span>However, once it’s done, it’s done! Then you can focus on all the other priorities you have for the day, including caring for your little children.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">Here are my top 6 tips to becoming fit fast after having a baby:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">1) Breastfeed! It will contract and shrink your uterus.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">2) Plan to be fit before you become pregnant. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">3) Write down everything you eat in a food journal. Do this during pregnancy and post-labor.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">4) Do not focus on strict dieting.<span> </span>Focus on nourishing your body with healthy foods for your baby.<span> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">5) Go on high intensity, run/walks with your baby outside when you can.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;">6) Take your supplements. I personally consistently consumed my multivitamin, calcium, EFA’s, and protein shake throughout my whole pregnancy and post-labor.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-59" title="6wk1" src="http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/6wk1.jpg" alt="6wk1" width="647" height="302" /></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-129" title="feb" src="http://www.mommyfitnessclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/feb-300x240.jpg" alt="feb" width="300" height="240" /><br />
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		<title>Sex after Kids: How are you doing?</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:15:23 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Do people’s sex lives start to fizzle out after they have children? Does their arrival mark the end of romance and the start of fantasising about other sexual partners - or even a night of uninterrupted sleep?

Shining a light on this deeply private area of couple’s lives is not always easy. So when we posted a questionnaire on Times Online, we were not entirely sure what to expect.

So far nearly 1,700 men and women have answered questions that range from how often they have sex and how long it lasts, to how many children they have and whether the children have affected the quality of their sex lives. Many also wrote at length about their own experiences. 


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="byline"><strong>Times Online Marriage and Sex Survery</strong>. By Jennifer Howze </span></p>
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<div id="related-article-links"><!-- Pagination -->Do people’s sex lives start to fizzle out after they have children? Does their arrival mark the end of romance and the start of fantasising about other sexual partners &#8211; or even a night of uninterrupted sleep?</p>
<p>Shining a light on this deeply private area of couple’s lives is not always easy. So when we posted a questionnaire on Times Online, we were not entirely sure what to expect.</p>
<p>So far nearly 1,700 men and women have answered questions that range from how often they have sex and how long it lasts, to how many children they have and whether the children have affected the quality of their sex lives. Many also wrote at length about their own experiences.</p>
<p>David Thompson &#8211; the only one of those we contacted who agreed to give his real name &#8211; spoke with lyrical nostalgia about a long walk in the woods with his girlfriend. The weather was perfect, no one else was around and they had nothing on their minds but each other; so they made love beneath the trees.</p>
<p><!--#include file="m63-article-related-attachements.html"-->Now aged 37, Thompson is married to his girlfriend and a father of three. “Making love spontaneously outdoors is something we would never do now,” he said. “We’re too busy running after the kids, making sure they don’t beat each other with sticks.”</p>
<p>His experience seemed typical: most of the respondents to our survey agreed that having children meant having less time for love-making. Yet despite recent reports about the rise in sexless marriages, the overwhelming majority still had a sex life – and few complaints about its quality.</p>
<p>“Frequency has gone down because we are both constantly tired and frazzled with the demands of our jobs and looking after the family,” wrote a married mother of two, who said she had sex two to three times a month. “But quality has gone up, as we have got closer after the birth of our child . . . We trust each other more and so are more open with each other.”</p>
<p>In all, 1,675 respondents &#8211; 54% of them male &#8211; filled in the survey on the Times Online’s Alpha Mummy blog. While not strictly scientific &#8211; because the respondents were self-selected &#8211; it painted a reassuring picture of what happens to romance after having children. The majority of parents said they had sex more than once a month; and 63% said the frequency of their love-making ranged from several times a week to two to three times a month. For 46%, love-making sessions lasted 20-45 minutes, while 34% made love for up to 20 minutes and 3% for more than an hour.</p>
<p>Tiredness was the chief reason given for having less sex now than before having a family; causes of this included the sheer physical energy needed to look after children, disturbed nights, early starts, pressures at work and general stress.</p>
<p>One pregnant mother, who has one child, said the reason why she was having sex only two or three times a month was, in fact, nothing to do with having a baby. “Running our own business does more damage,” she wrote. Other reasons for less frequent sex included sharing a bed with children or sleeping in separate beds &#8211; in some cases so that fathers were not woken up when a baby needed to be breast-fed.</p>
<p>One mother of three complained that it was hard ever to escape from children &#8211; “I’m worried about little hands opening bedroom doors,” she wrote.</p>
<p>Sex with his wife was described by one father as “quick, covert, much like a military strike . . . My daughter seems to have been born with a built-in radar which informs her any time my wife and I try to get close . . . even if she’s in the other room . . . at two in the morning”.</p>
<p>Some parents said they stole private moments while the children were playing in the garden or when the nanny was on duty. “We have to make the most of the opportunities, but the quality seems to get better with age and experience,” wrote a father of three, who described sex with his girlfriend as “better than ever” after 13 years together.</p>
<p>It was striking just how many parents had a positive view of their sex lives &#8211; whatever the frequency. “The sex we have is really great. It is maybe not as saucy as it was when we first got together, but it is more effective in that we both know what the other likes and what works for us both,” said a mother of one, who has been with her husband for eight years. They still have sex several times a week: “Although sometimes I am tired and think I can’t be bothered, afterwards I always think how much fun it was and am so pleased that I made the effort.”</p>
<p>Another mother, who has three children, said: “Being constantly tired and busy with activities after school made it hard to feel ‘in the mood’. Once the kids were older and more independent, we could return to more intimacy, and now that the kids have left home it is great.”</p>
<p>Some in long-term relationships admitted that the ebb and flow of their sex lives did not necessarily have anything to do with having children.</p>
<p>“We thought children affected our sex life when they were very little; but looking back, it was better then than now,” wrote a mother of two, whose relationship has so far lasted 11 years. “It may be our age, or we may have just got lazy.”</p>
<p>According to Frank Furedi, professor of sociology at Kent University and author of Paranoid Parenting, mothers in particular can find parenting a desexualising experience. After a baby is born, he said, “there’s a sense that the baby becomes the priority; the body is given over to the child. And that is sometimes slightly contradictory to the woman as a sexual being”.</p>
<p>Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says that there can be a tension between “the erotic and the domestic. Family life thrives in an atmosphere of consistency and stability. The erotic crumbles under routine”.</p>
<p>Several respondents recognised these strains in their relationships. “I believe that my partner saw me as a mother/housewife rather than as being a sexually attractive, interesting woman,” said a mother of one.</p>
<p>And a father wrote: “Being in the birthing room was very traumatic for me. Taking second place to our child hurt our sex life . . . I think we both withdrew from the sex part of the relationship.”</p>
<p>One father of two, who had been in a relationship for five years, said: “After the second child, desire just disappeared and never really came back to full strength &#8211; and it’s been three years.” The couple’s love-making &#8211; two to three times a month &#8211; was, however, “great when you get it”.</p>
<p>Another father said that his love life had dwindled to having formulaic sex several times a year: “It was never the right moment so I gave up trying . . .”</p>
<p>On the other hand, many felt that pregnancy and parenthood had put renewed energy into their relationships. “It’s great now because she’s pregnant and has a sex craving,” said a father who has sex about once a week.</p>
<p>Perel said this was not uncommon. “There are lots of women who actually discover through pregnancy, through birth, nursing and bonding with a child, a whole new sense of themselves as women &#8211; physically, sexually and sensually.”</p>
<p>The iron bonds of parenthood can often reinforce a relationship, according to Furedi. “Having kids and having some very positive shared experiences bring people together,” he said. “A good sex life for a couple depends on there being a kind of bond, a friendship &#8211; it’s what gives you confidence to relax.”</p>
<p>What can be done if the sexual spark between a couple has simply fizzled out? Scheduling time to be alone together is vital, advises Suzi Godson, author of The Sex Book. Perel advises going out for a meal, dancing &#8211; anything that the couple will both enjoy. “Just don’t talk about the kids,” she says.</p>
<p>However, one desperate parent asked: but what else is there to talk about by that stage in a relationship?</p></div>
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